[The Admiral]
Anura was very brave on Friday. Very brave. Superhero level brave. Standing in Parliament. Giving middle fingers to superpowers. Two middle fingers. One for America. One for Iran. Double rejection. Maximum courage.
His Minister of Justice was also brave. Showed middle finger in Parliament. Stuck out vulgar tongue. His tongue is dirty, good for a Clogard advertisement. Very ministerial. Very justice-like. Very classy. The government of middle fingers and tongues. Luckily, champion of anti vulgarism, the Prime Minister did not see her minister's vulgar act.
Anura was brave. Revolutionary gestures. The story goes like this. Iran called Anura. America called Anura. Both wanted favors. Use Sri Lanka as a war playground please. Park your ships here. Launch your aircraft with missiles from here. Fight your war in our waters. No problem, right?
Anura said no. Double no. No to Iran. No to America. Very brave. Very principled. Very anti-imperialist and anti-whoever-Iran-represents.
Equal opportunity rejection. Democracy in action.
Then the Iran ship got hit. Boom. Attack. Damage. Crisis. Ship sinking near Sri Lanka. Anura saved them. Rescued the sailors. Helped the enemy of America. Or friend. Nobody knows anymore. But Anura helped. Very humanitarian. Very brave. Very confusing.
Meanwhile, all government ministers are running around screaming. War was a sudden thing. No time to prepare. Came out of nowhere. Total surprise. How could we know. Impossible to predict. Completely unexpected.
Wait. Hold on. Stop.
Anura knew about the war before it escalated. How? Because both Iran and America called him asking favors. Both superpowers don't call random island presidents for fun. They call when war is coming. When they need positions. When they need help.
So Anura knew. Definitely knew. Weeks before. Maybe months before. Iran called. America called. War was coming.
Everybody who answered those calls knew.
But ministers claim war was sudden. Unexpected. Surprise attack. No time to prepare. Caught completely off guard.
Liars. Liars. Liars.
Either Anura is lying about the phone calls. Or ministers are lying about the surprise. Or everyone is lying about everything. Most likely option, everyone lying about everything.
The President knew war was coming. Rejected both sides. Saved Iranian sailors. Looked like a hero. Very brave. Very principled. Very prepared.
The ministers claim total surprise. No warning. No preparation time. No way to know. Very shocked. Very unprepared. Very incompetent.
Both stories cannot be true.
Either war was expected or war was surprise. Either Anura got calls or ministers are clueless. Either government knew or government is lying.
Answer, Government knew. Ministers are lying. Anura is performing. The Justice Minister is showing middle fingers.
Everyone is acting. Nobody is honest.
The war was convenient. The phone calls were convenient. The brave rejections were convenient. The sailor rescue was convenient. The minister surprise was convenient. Everything perfectly timed for maximum drama and minimum accountability.
Wake up. The middle finger government is performing again. Brave gestures. Heroic stands. Dramatic rescues. Confused ministers. Convenient stories. Maximum lies.
They knew. They lied. They performed. They got caught. They lie again.
Liars. All of them. From President giving double middle fingers to ministers claiming surprise to Justice Minister sticking out tongue.
Government of gestures. Administration of performances. Cabinet of liars.
Wake up. The show continues. The lies multiply. The middle fingers point everywhere except at the truth.