[The Admiral]
The flood victims are on their own now. The cameras left. The ministers flew away in their helicopters. The sad faces disappeared faster than water down a drain. Families are rebuilding with bare hands while their leaders rebuild their Facebook pages. Children sleep in broken homes while ministers sleep in five-star comfort.
Nobody talks about the victims anymore. They gave politicians good photos. Now they can suffer quietly.
Our government has discovered something amazing. They are perfect. Completely perfect. They have done nothing wrong. Not one thing. Ever. They should write a book. How to Rule Without Making Mistakes. It would be a fantasy novel.
Every problem in this country is caused by someone else. A mysterious villain who appears when things go wrong. His name is Public Official.
He is everywhere. He ruins everything. Politicians are just innocent people watching this villain destroy the country.
Politicians are angels from heaven. Public officials are devils from hell. That is the story. Always the story.
When a dangerous prisoner walked out of jail like he was leaving a hotel, who got the blame. The prison superintendent. Not the minister. The minister was busy. Probably at a wedding. The superintendent and the prisoner must have become friends. Beautiful friendship. Lock up the superintendent instead.
When 300 containers sailed through customs like a pleasure cruise, who got the blame. Customs officials. They must have been sleeping. Or hypnotized. Politicians were innocent. They were in Parliament. Very busy. Discussing lunch probably.
When the forty billion rupee double cab scandal came out, who got the blame. Treasury officials. They must have ordered 1775 vehicles for a joy ride. Politicians had no idea. They just sign papers. They do not read them. Reading is for public officials.
When the health sector collapsed, who got the blame. Pharmaceutical Corporation officials. They must have been selling medicine on the black market. Ministers were shocked. They thought everything was fine. All those people dying must be a coincidence.
When onion prices made people cry harder than cutting onions, who got the blame. Public officials. They must have been storing onions under their beds. Politicians were eating something else that week. They did not know onions existed.
When the cyclone killed hundreds, who got the blame. The weather department chief. He should have used magic powers to stop the storm. What do you mean he gave warnings days before. Politicians were not checking their phones. They were busy doing very important political work.
When rice disappeared and prices went sky high, who got the blame. Public officials. They must have built a secret rice storage. Politicians were eating bread that month. They noticed nothing.
And the media. The terrible, lying media. Always blaming innocent politicians. The media should be shut down. Banned. How dare they report facts. Facts are very annoying.
Politicians have done nothing wrong. How can they. They are angels. Pure and clean. They should sell their perfection in bottles.
Look at history. Every previous leader was terrible. JR was wrong for Black July. Premadasa was wrong for crushing the rebellion. Chandrika was wrong for the war. Mahinda was wrong for corruption. Ranil was wrong for the bond scam. Sirisena was wrong for the Easter attack. Gota was wrong for destroying the economy.
All bad. All criminals. We hated them. We threw them out.
But now. Now we have the perfect leaders. Finally.
Anura is right. Harini is right. Bimal is right. Lalkantha is right. Tilvin is right. Sunil is right. Wijepala is right. They are all right. About everything. Always. They make no mistakes. They have superpowers. They can walk on water. Well, they fly over water in helicopters, but same thing.
Only public officials are wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Always wrong.
The system is beautiful.
Politicians sit in cool offices and make decisions. Public officials do the work. When things work well, politicians take credit and they dance too. When things fail, public officials take blame. Perfect system.
No wonder public officials lie like professional liars. Why tell the truth. Truth kills your career. Tell the truth about political pressure and you lose your job. Talk about corruption and they send you to some jungle office where even Google Maps cannot find you.
Say no to an illegal order and your career dies. Do the right thing and you stand alone.
So they lie. They hide. They protect politicians. Because nobody protects them.
Politicians created heaven. For themselves. They have all the power. They make all the decisions. They sign everything. They enjoy the luxury vehicles. They take foreign trips. They eat five-star buffets. And they take zero blame. Zero. Nothing.
In twenty years, when these politicians retire to their beach houses, they will give interviews. Yes, there were some problems when we were in power. Very sad. But it was not our fault. It was the public officials. And the previous government. And the world economy. And bad luck. But not us. Never us.
Just like every old leader says now. We tried our best. Others failed us. We were angels working with devils.
The flood victims are still alone. The country is still sinking. Problems keep growing. But politicians are still perfect. Shining bright. Glowing with goodness.
If you disagree, you must be a public official. Or media. Or an enemy. Because only bad people question good politicians. Good people stay quiet and suffer.
In twenty years, these angels will become villains. New angels will come. They will be perfect. Until they become villains too. Then newer angels arrive. The wheel keeps turning. The music keeps playing. Only the dancers change. And public officials keep falling down.
Welcome to Sri Lanka. Where politicians are always right. Where public officials are always wrong. Where flood victims are always forgotten. And where people watch this comedy show they paid for with their taxes, their dreams, and their tears.
The show goes on. The actors cannot act. But we cannot leave. This is our circus. And we are all trapped inside watching clowns pretend to be leaders.
And Ranwala was right too and the six-month-old baby and the police cops were wrong.
His blood was from a monkey and the urine is from a horse for the test.